Wow. I can't believe i'm gone. It's such a difference to go from complete poverty, to THIS. I am so thankful for my life, AND EVERYTHING I HAVE ! Our last days with the kids was so sad. It was really hard to explain to the younger kids, that after all this time.. we are leaving them, we have to go back. They stood there in a daze, some glazed over with sadness, others, still not processing.. We had to walk away because it as getting too hard. We had spent so much time with the younger kids, and then we just have to leave them, it's heart breaking! The older kids had to leave early in the morning, so we said good-bye that night, and they understood, but it was just so hard. They said to us "Don't forget us" HOW COULD I FORGET THE CHILDREN THAT CHANGED MY LIFE? Never! We said our good-byes to all the high-school students the next morning and the younger kids, and even little Alli.. Not really understanding, but knowing we were going.. brought sadness. He's the little guy that came to the orphanage not being able to lift his little head up, or talk, or walk. And we have helped him out, seen him take his first steps, dance a little, say my name, call my parents "Mom and Dad" and he's the one with the most impact.. And HOW on earth could I say that I have left there not changed? I can't. I've honestly been through the craziest things ever, that a lot of people my age back home, and other ages would barely believe, but I was moved by the hearts of little children, who still have a piece of me, and will forever. I definitely will see them again. For the most part , I hope. I've seen some crazy corruption, and to leave the poverty and craziness.... to go to Europe for a break and vent, was nuts?! (Yes, we went to Europe, SO beautiful, yet the complete opposite of Kenya) It's the opposite, yet , it's hard to explain to those who don't understand, or haven't had the experience, and I wish I honestly could. I've had someone say to me "I understand what you mean." And even though it's bad of me, I think " Seriously?! You honestly think you understand? Have you left everything, went to Africa, met orphan kids who stole your heart, try and adjust there, with no one there but you and your parents,take in strange surroundings and EVERYTHING opposite, had poverty around you that makes your heart melt , people take advantage of you, riots, people stealing from you,all the corruption, then went straight home, leaving it all and your life there, to try and unwind and adjust to a strange lucky life back in Canada, with anything you can imagine, a hot shower, a real meal, and adjust to changing friends because you're not the same person as before?... You THINK you understand what's in my head?!" hahahahahaha But then after I have to tell myself to STOP. STOP, Chelsey! Of course they can't, they are being kind, stop being so ignorant and forgive. Yeah, you're probably thinking i'm crazy by now, and I AM! But, it's just so hard to adjust, and I hope soon I will. I haven't gone back to school yet, because well... I just left Africa and came home ! It's crazy! I have a lot to get used to , get ready for school, ready to get back into... whatever life.. I really don't know anymore! But I know I could never forget what is behind me in Africa, those smiling faces, and warm cuddly little hands! AND THE HEAT! Wow, I miss the heat. ;) And I apologize for those who HAVE been reading my blog ! Oops... I kinda stopped writing for awhile! Not much time, crazy stuff happening, and so much more.
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